What a speedy process this next adventure has been. That is, until now. It was all began in a moment of clarity when several things the Lord had been adding together finally reached its sum: apply NOW.
I had been waiting on God for a sense of timing: when to go, when to apply, when to start fundraising.
I had considered several things like not wanting to leave for Kona and the Science & Technology department before my friend's wedding figuring I'd save money on an extra round-trip ticket and I'd get to be here for more of the pre-wedding festivities. I also figured by leaving mid-June that I would get to stick around for my youth group kiddos and not leave before their semester is up, claiming that I don't want to abandon them after becoming invested in their lives. I also figured I did not want to take advantage of my boss' generosity and flexibility with letting me come and go as I pleased.
Notice a trend? These all sound like excuses, not legitimate factors. If there's a difference, even.
I got an email two weeks ago from my supervisor needing to know my end-date for work this go-around and she had assumed it was March sometime. This gave me a keen sense of permission-permission to leave, her having a specific month in mind, to let go of all those excuses and dare to chase my dream now!
NOW is all I heard each time I prayed to God about timing. I often wonder about the element of deciphering what God speaks to us. It is always a direct answer to the question we're asking? There's a good chance for not. Think of how Jesus NEVER answered questions with direct answers, they were usually answers to other questions or to the actual question no one wanted to actually ask. It seems like this answer "NOW" was more the answer to all of the prep-work for heading back to YWAM. Apply now. Pray and plan and think about who might support you financially now. Don't get committed to other things now. It wasn't so much the answer to when I would fly back or start up at Kona, but when to start doing all the things that need to be done before I leave.
NOW. NOW is the time to begin your dream, dear reader. NOW is the time to take the next step that will lead you to your next step. The sum of all your hard work and the different opportunities that build up the resulting DREAM COME TRUE! Chase your heart's desire NOW, dear reader. Begin the stages NOW.
Now that I have been given this assurance and the ball has been set in motion I am being taught by God so much about what it's actually like to wait. Believe it or not, I don't often wait on things. I usually just do it, just go. After my supervisor's email and the sudden clarity at the center of all my excuses, I started to work on my application. I think it was done within a couple days, reference letters and all. I knew God's hand was setting that pace when my reference letters were done within 48 hours--that never happens! After that was all taken care of I promised God in a slightly challenging way: I said I'd go as soon as he provided the funds. I am broke and I also was wanting to be obedient to the "NOW" that I thought meant arrive in Kona ASAP.
Now though, I am realizing that waiting on God for provision does not mean rush or strive to bring it to fruition. It means, God is working and you might not be able to see it, but now we wait. So I have done my due diligence--support letters, blog revamped, facebook status promotions--and now, I wait for people to be moved by God and respond to my need. So, I am learning that I still have to go to work, I still have to do chores, and I still have things to enjoy while I wait.
Wow, I actually have to trust God with the invisible and allow Him to do the work while not knowing when He will say I am ready. Well, while I am waiting...
I had been waiting on God for a sense of timing: when to go, when to apply, when to start fundraising.
I had considered several things like not wanting to leave for Kona and the Science & Technology department before my friend's wedding figuring I'd save money on an extra round-trip ticket and I'd get to be here for more of the pre-wedding festivities. I also figured by leaving mid-June that I would get to stick around for my youth group kiddos and not leave before their semester is up, claiming that I don't want to abandon them after becoming invested in their lives. I also figured I did not want to take advantage of my boss' generosity and flexibility with letting me come and go as I pleased.
Notice a trend? These all sound like excuses, not legitimate factors. If there's a difference, even.
I got an email two weeks ago from my supervisor needing to know my end-date for work this go-around and she had assumed it was March sometime. This gave me a keen sense of permission-permission to leave, her having a specific month in mind, to let go of all those excuses and dare to chase my dream now!
NOW is all I heard each time I prayed to God about timing. I often wonder about the element of deciphering what God speaks to us. It is always a direct answer to the question we're asking? There's a good chance for not. Think of how Jesus NEVER answered questions with direct answers, they were usually answers to other questions or to the actual question no one wanted to actually ask. It seems like this answer "NOW" was more the answer to all of the prep-work for heading back to YWAM. Apply now. Pray and plan and think about who might support you financially now. Don't get committed to other things now. It wasn't so much the answer to when I would fly back or start up at Kona, but when to start doing all the things that need to be done before I leave.
NOW. NOW is the time to begin your dream, dear reader. NOW is the time to take the next step that will lead you to your next step. The sum of all your hard work and the different opportunities that build up the resulting DREAM COME TRUE! Chase your heart's desire NOW, dear reader. Begin the stages NOW.
Now that I have been given this assurance and the ball has been set in motion I am being taught by God so much about what it's actually like to wait. Believe it or not, I don't often wait on things. I usually just do it, just go. After my supervisor's email and the sudden clarity at the center of all my excuses, I started to work on my application. I think it was done within a couple days, reference letters and all. I knew God's hand was setting that pace when my reference letters were done within 48 hours--that never happens! After that was all taken care of I promised God in a slightly challenging way: I said I'd go as soon as he provided the funds. I am broke and I also was wanting to be obedient to the "NOW" that I thought meant arrive in Kona ASAP.
Now though, I am realizing that waiting on God for provision does not mean rush or strive to bring it to fruition. It means, God is working and you might not be able to see it, but now we wait. So I have done my due diligence--support letters, blog revamped, facebook status promotions--and now, I wait for people to be moved by God and respond to my need. So, I am learning that I still have to go to work, I still have to do chores, and I still have things to enjoy while I wait.
Wow, I actually have to trust God with the invisible and allow Him to do the work while not knowing when He will say I am ready. Well, while I am waiting...
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