Financial Support Request

Its funny how you can get cocky about being not-cocky. I think thats exactly what snuck up on me in the last couple months. About September I knew that God had asked me to take a bit of rest as my next chapter in life and boy was I okay with that! I also knew in the depths of my dream-chest that I was going to head back to Kona/YWAM eventually to work in the Science & Technology department to do some agriculture research, I just didn't know when.

So with this assurance, which was more like arrogance, I didn't do much about really pursuing God's will for me. What if I was wrong? What if God had something else in the meantime? Well, I didn't ever really ask.

I thank the Lord for His grace and His willingness to go out of the way to make sure we don't miss the things He really has for us because it turns out that my cockiness did not steer me away from His best. It just put me in a bit of a time crunch.

I am now sitting here with about 5-6 weeks max of a time frame to get applications and fundraisers and packing things and housing etc together to get back on what God would have told me months ago had I bothered to mind Him sooner rather than later.

It is now later and I am more hastily seeking financial support and dedicated prayer friends for the before, during and after. If that sounds like something you're interested in please let me know!!

Prayer options: text, email, Facebook message, Skype...you get the idea!
Financial options: mail a check, transfer to my Paypal account (charges a small fee) or deposit online directly to YWAM (web address coming later).

Get Some...of this Great God

I had a very sweet and important moment with Jesus the other day but was in a quite inconvenient place to record it: on my drive to work in Osceola, Arkansas. You should Google it, it's a bitty town just a tiny bit bigger than my hometown in California.

I have always wondered when Jesus' death would impact my heart this way. I have known in my head for a long time the logistics of salvation: Jesus, who was perfect, was the only, only, only option for reconciling a very broken person back into perfect, unbroken relationship with God, my creator and HEAVENLY Father. I/we are broken by self-serving and self-satisfying, reckless choices like not worshipping God.

Anyway, as far as the mind goes, I can be super amazed and blown away by the effect, the impact this has on the world, on my heart, and my afterlife in heaven...but I have been waiting for my heart to get it. To be transformed and melted by His Kind of Love. <-- a="" great="" song="" that="" title="" with=""> 

Now, why would I know that I need more of Jesus? How do I know that my heart isn't quite overwhelmed by the result of Jesus' death, i.e., GRACE, FORGIVENESS, ASSURANCE?

Well this is my confession:  because I am constantly striving to do as little sin as possible so that when I get to Heaven I have less to be ashamed about.

BOOM. Yea, I just said that. I was worried I wasn't going to be good enough to be acceptable or loveable in God's almighty big hug and His beautiful face and outstretched hand, inviting me to sit on His throne of mercy and say, "well done, good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:23)

If your heart is troubled over your actions, if you are constantly or even infrequently considering wether or not what you're doing or have just done was sinful or not, worthy of God or not, or will boot you out of the promiseland, you need more love. If you think "Will this add too much to my sinfulness?" or "Oh, no, I was doing pretty good until that, I just messed up, ok, now I need forgiveness again"....hahah, well, you need Jesus to slam your heart and face with His compassion and mighty love. I've just caught my first glimpse.

What did it look like?

It was in reaction to a song lyric jumping out of my speakers on KLove Radio (this thing is broadcasted everywhere, just like God's voice is) and the song was sayin' something along the lines of God reaching out His hand to save us. I then thought on the scripture in Matthew about Peter walking on water, but then starting to sink when his faith ran up short. (see: Matthew 14). Here Jesus physically saved  Peter by quickly reaching out to pull him back up and stopped him from drowning. Then I wondered if that's what grace was like. Peter had enough faith to get out and start walking, but not enough to withstand the wind, the doubt. So by Jesus reaching out and grabbing Peter, Jesus was saying I AM ENOUGH. He finishes what we cannot. He is the insufficiency that would otherwise be impossible to amend before our judgement day.

The coolest and miraculous part of this revelation: I was early for work. Ok, that was not it, I was just joshin' ya. I was early for work and had time to do my devotional beforehand and guess what the scripture reference was on? Bam, Matthew 14, the exact story God put in my little brain 7 minutes earlier.

So this is the meat of this glory bomb that went off in my heart: I finally admitted to God in another drive to work out here what I admitted up above, that I was basically fearful of what would happen in heaven. In that same devotional book I read Hebrews 12:2 a couple days later which says that Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. Keeping our eyes on Jesus helps us steady our hearts and minds on this.  I remembered another song lyric (likely drilled in this cabeza because of Klove) that says something like this: that one of these days I'll have to stand in front of the Judgement Throne and stand for everything I've done, but what I'll do is trust in Jesus.

So God was knitting together this great little story for me and it all came to this. Jesus is enough for me in this life, but He is also enough for me when I get to Heaven and have to be accountable for all that I have said and done. Jesus is here on earth and yet sits in Heaven. He is on the mercy seat at the right hand of God. Jesus will stand in the gap of all my insufficiency at that moment more desperately and urgently and readily than even now as He does that for me on a minute-by-minute basis.

I have nothing to fear of my righteous and perfect God, for although I will face all my sins in Heaven, it is only to chuck them out of Heaven and receive a bill already paid for, for my sins and thus live eternally with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, in peace and perfection.

That's how gooooooood our God is, folks. Get some.