Today was a beautiful day. It wasn't over the top exhilarating, just simply really good. And, its only noon!
Life has been pretty rough lately. I have been acknowledging the legitimate but reasonably-avoidable feelings of homesickness. And being honest enough with myself to face reality. Reality is that not every day is going to feel/be/seem/appear awesome. Reality is that sometimes I will feel or even believe that I am nowhere near impacting peoples lives for the better with the things I do in my little garden world (which is actually giant!). Reality is that people are busy and though they're having fun its not in spite of my loneliness; its just a fact. Reality is that not every day is going to be exciting and adventurous like traveling to Greece with 10 amazing women and facing new, and by default, EXCITING!! things all the time. Life can feel settled and that's okay.
Yesterday was one of the lowest days I have had in years but then it quickly turned around and I felt peace and contentment. It was like I cried and prayed and cried the junk away just enough to make room for God. I saw the joy and goodness in my life and in my relationship with God despite the other 98% of me feeling essentially opposite of that.
I know that the flavor of the next couple months are going to be challenging. God told me so. He said that up til Christmas-time that life was going to be a season of equipping and training, practically and spiritually. I have felt lonely in a lot of what I do here not because there's a shortage of people to be with but because their daily activities are separate from mine.
Life has been pretty rough lately. I have been acknowledging the legitimate but reasonably-avoidable feelings of homesickness. And being honest enough with myself to face reality. Reality is that not every day is going to feel/be/seem/appear awesome. Reality is that sometimes I will feel or even believe that I am nowhere near impacting peoples lives for the better with the things I do in my little garden world (which is actually giant!). Reality is that people are busy and though they're having fun its not in spite of my loneliness; its just a fact. Reality is that not every day is going to be exciting and adventurous like traveling to Greece with 10 amazing women and facing new, and by default, EXCITING!! things all the time. Life can feel settled and that's okay.
Yesterday was one of the lowest days I have had in years but then it quickly turned around and I felt peace and contentment. It was like I cried and prayed and cried the junk away just enough to make room for God. I saw the joy and goodness in my life and in my relationship with God despite the other 98% of me feeling essentially opposite of that.
I know that the flavor of the next couple months are going to be challenging. God told me so. He said that up til Christmas-time that life was going to be a season of equipping and training, practically and spiritually. I have felt lonely in a lot of what I do here not because there's a shortage of people to be with but because their daily activities are separate from mine.
