What of the wrath and judgement of the Lord?

I was having a good time reading the Bible the other day and I was so delighted by that nice caring side of God. You know, where He takes something you love in scripture and connects it with the encouragement you need to hear? (See my previous post). As I was reading through Luke 1-3ish last Friday I was struck anew by something in the Gospel I have read through here and there many times.

What happens when we have a conviction of divine duty and we do not do it? I am asking because I really want your advice/counsel/Godly wisdom on this. I am broken-hearted over something I read and appreciated as a cutesy lesson from the Bible and separated from my real life. These kinds of realizations are like slamming on the brakes to a halt in the middle of an empty country backroad because you are running late and just noticed you left something at home—like your compassion, your boldness, your courage and the simple duty of zeal buried beneath the obligations of social conformity.

Luke 3:9-11 The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” “What should we do then?” the crowd asked. 
 John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

I always look for something new to stop me in my tracks when I am reading something so popular like a passage in Luke. This is the track-stopper: Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same. 
ANYONE, anyone who has two (or more, many many many more) should share with he/she who does not have many many many more.

This wasn't such an exclamation in my heart until the next morning. My mom had a work conference in San Diego and I being in a season of restfulness (or at least learning how to rest) went with her to serve as her driver and to continue resting in a preferably warmer place. As we were headed home Saturday morning, getting closer to the freeway on-ramp I saw a man with a sign, a homeless or extremely disadvantaged man. His slice of cardboard read this:

God bless. Please help. A LITTLE LOVE GOES A LONG WAY.

I read that sign and immediately thought his rare sign was a great photo-opp! And then I quickly remembered how I want to make sure I live my photography life 'people-first-photo-second.' And then I wondered what my mom might think if I asked to give him money/something even if in lieu of the the photograph. Then I squirmed in my seat as the light turned green and I realized I didn't get my photograph, I didn't help this man, his sign melted my heart with a conviction of the truth of how I am to live...I sat there in passivity instead of boldness. The fear of man and that awful truth that if enough time passed I would not longer feel so challenged. This inner-debate stole that opportunity from me. 

I could have easily asked my mom to make a U-ey and pull into a parking lot. She would have and I probably would have been able to 'get-away with it' without much convincing; I could have grabbed my camera, grabbed my wallet, offered to buy him a refreshment or sustenance and then dignified him by asking for his name, honor him by asking for his story, take a photo to go with his story. And then give him a hug—because all that lovin' would have indeed gone a long way.

I was about to post just the above as my entry but I just had a conversation with a dear friend of mine, Campbell. She and I got to talking and sharing thoughts and what not on how we are so wired for DOING things for God and not enough of BEING for God. How God wants our worship and our love and proclaims His (un)dying love for us free of MERIT. How it's hard for us to admit this, being such 'do-ers,' but that perhaps there are moments and convictions and realizations like these for just the sake of learning. For the sake of glorifying and petitioning God in prayer, for He is the almighty, not I.

I have these expectations of myself, you see. Expectations that are so stern they're more like obligations, and are very performance-driven. I am so quick to condemn myself for what I do and do not do. It can be quite toxic and brings me anxiety quite often. Campbell mentioned how we are so quick to be harsh on ourselves and how she often senses God say things to her like, 'I love you' when she is beating herself up (metaphorically) for not DOING something.

So here I am, reminded of God's free unconditional GRACE but perplexed and in somewhat of a rock+hard place. I read this scripture of a command that speaks on DOING. GIVE your shirt away if you have extras. But I read his sign, and went on my way. 

These things I am sure I will be judged for--God will ask when I get to heaven, why did you not stop? Would it have taken too much time? Too much effort? Too much humility?

But I do not doubt that God is so well pleased that I am learning so much right now. That I am taking the time to write about it (I learn so much deeply-er this way) and to discuss it because now, now my heart has processed this learning and I put my hope in Jesus to use me for the next time. To use me to DO His will when He asks. We shouldn't have to be asked by God to do the things that we know would honor him, would bring a smile to his divine self, but I don't think He would on the other hand condemn us for it. Wait on the Lord to do His will, do not fill in the blanks of a quiet day in order to earn your daily dose of righteousness. 

There is nothing we can do that would thwart God's will—but who am I to assume that God's will was for me to DO something for that man? What if I am reflecting on His very plan: to reveal to me the functionality of scripture, the practical that is to be lived out in my life? Because I am certainly more prepared just now, and a smidge closer to being like Christ.

I am sorry I did not do what I am more than capable of DOING for that man but I will not bind myself in the chains that Jesus died to break off. 

Encouragement and Everlasting Faithfulness

A dear friend of mine, Noah, was being his absolutely normal self which is: encouraging, and wanted to share words from God to me.

He said:

“You are amazing Bee and God is so well pleased with you! I just feel like every time He looks at you, His heart is so much in love, its like the sunset that you described! But a million times better!”

As my friend referenced scripture in his genuine and hearty encouragement I was so delighted. I happen to really love this particular scripture, it is so tell-tale of God's character and how salvation functions and His unconditional love for us. 

Sidenote: God's love is UNCONDITIONAL (unaffected by our offenses) because He actually never expected, nor requires, our love back. That's so cool! 

SO Jesus spent THIRTY YEARS of his life before actually doing ministry stuff. And at the point of this heavenly eruption, He hadn't yet done a single miracle or utilized His gifting as being God in the flesh. WHAT? So God says, I am soooooooo perfectly happy with who you are...yet He hadn't done anything to EARN such affection. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR GOD TO LOVE YOU EITHER. Your choice to believe in God, to change yours ways from more worldly to more Godly, these things are like a bonus (and result in salvation, the choice part).

I sat down to read the Bible this morning and I have this cool translation (Common English Bible; CEB) of Luke on my desktop. So I'm reading through and all of a sudden I read the scripture about Jesus' baptism and God's words that descend from Heaven and BOOM I am just so tickled because God used my friend Noah to tell me those words yesterday.

God is so faithful to our hearts, He is so clever to connect his unchanging and perpetual love for me from yesterday to something in today. And, I didn't do a thing to earn it. He just is, he just does, he just loves. These little things just add up so cool-ly. What if God does these 'coincidental' things just to remind us that everything makes sense and that He's with us from yesterday until today?

Encouragement is the easiest, quickest, cheapest (free), and most genuine way to promote community, acceptance, affirmation, confidence, revelation of character...Obviously I am a big fan of ENCOURAGEMENT. And, I don't really mean the simple kind of “compliment someone today” or “smile at someone today” because I find those to be normal for me and also, a pretty common human thing. You have the ability within you to dig deep and affirm someone's character which will build them up in worth and dignity that is not of this world, but of God's deep deep deep love for His very own creation. (Which is you! And your mother and your brother, and the sunsets and the wind...)

For believers to other believers, scripture is the coolest kind of encouragement! My friend Noah who I quoted above was using a reference found in the Gospels from Jesus' baptism by John. After John baptized Jesus the heavens opened up and God Almighty Himself spoke so that all could hear! He said, “You are my beloved Son, I take delight in You!” (HCSB Luke 3:22). Other translations say for the second half, 'in whom I am well pleased.'

For those not yet saved by mercy and grace, either as the givers or receivers of such deep encouragement, you can still dig deeper in your daily complimentary lifestyles. Ponder for just a second what someone is doing, what they are working towards or who they are trying to be (a parent, a graduate, a public servant...) and think, 'If I were aiming for _____, I would feel so motivated if someone said/noticed ________.'

God is real, He is everything He says He is and is nothing like the critics of this world that condemn Christianity for its mistakes-those are human, not Holy. 

LOVE!

Voice of Truth

Today was a really relaxing day; as far as busy-ness, inexistent, pressure, illegitimate. Yet it was still a challenge to simply find that motivation to spend time with Jesus. You know, the way I did during the Bible distribution days in Alexandroupolis where I was praying over every person, doorway, gateway and house pet I saw and touched. I have not felt that close to God many times in my life besides spending a day in verbal communication and also reliance on Him.

Today I was sidetracked by Facebook when I promised a 1-day fast and then I was Skyping a friend when I made mental arrangements to grab my Bible for a bit.
All of a sudden it was about 4:15 and I needed to shower still and meet my Papa for dinner at 5pm.

It is honestly annoying to think that after an intense 6-month discipleship program that finding time to spend in the Word, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, seems like discipleship in itself. A demonstration of Grace that I wish I didn't need and supremely unnecessary really. I mean c'mon, the first second you open your Bible up to the Psalms you're falling in love all over again and if you read more than one chapter in the Gospels you feel like Jesus just paid for you salvation all over again. So why is it that watching tv, which I swore away today, and the interest of the online social world is so...effective. Blah!

THE KICKER: Although a blessing beyond expectations, a gift really, a couple young adults at my church that are new friends to me want to evangelize in town. They are on fire for God and I would never want anything different. They certainly seem to be brave and going for it! I feel like they are a gift from Heaven, and they are. I want to spend this season of rest not being lazy but resting in the Lord. This does not mean a vacation from who I was in Hawaii and Greece but a vacation from the very typical over-busy-bee.

So, why was is so heart-stopping to answer "yes" to this question: "Hey do you want to pass out Tracts at homecoming?"

I definitely front about not caring about what people think, especially people that are here in town. Its a small place I have been away from for about 5 years now--weekend visits and intermittent working summers don't really count. All these criticisms snuck in and I began to listen to these voices of intimidation and mitigation. Thoughts that asked me if I wanted to be that person in town, poking at my "image" that would be marked by a Jesus freak label.

This old self of mine took over for a bit and I felt something start to back down. That is, until I brought this micro-fear into the light and confessed to a friend. And she said, 'Yeah, that's out of my comfort zone, too. But God's grace always seems to intensify in those moments.' HOW COULD I FORGET TO CONSIDER THAT GOD'S GRACE IS ON MY SIDE? And where was I putting my trust? In myself, all over again. Praise the Lord this didn't last.

I left my grandparent's house after the Giants kicked the Dogers out of the playoffs, woot!, and heard an old classic song on my care radio, The Voice of Truth (inserted above for your listening pleasures). It's an oldie but goodie.

It made me ask, "Really, whose voice was I listening to?"

THE VOICE OF TRUTH SAYS:

You have discovered my Love for yourself and truly want it for everyone else.
You have found your worth and your identity in Me, the King of Kings.
I am not asking you to paint a rosie picture of Christianity in the WORLD, just love those that will listen.
There are definitely not as many people watching your every move, criticizing it, and painting the town red with who you have become. And if they were, it would say "She loves Jesus and she wants you to find security in Heavenly storehouses." Is that so bad, after all??

Listen to the voice of truth, it comes from God and not from a critical place. Anything critical, throw it out the window. Especially if its coming form your own thought life!
Relax, the Father has it all taken care of. Find your identity, your backing in the Lord of the universe. Problems solved.

Gracefully and always humbled,
B

Athens: Ministry + Vacation

Athens was much on the contrary to what we were warned about: pick-pockets and trash, ugly urban is what I expected. We must have been walking in SO MUCH grace and protection from the Lord.
I did not see much trash, was never approached let alone robbed and we had a lovely time.




We were scheduled for about 5 days of ministry before our time for "debrief" began but it was really hard not to slink into a mode of vacation in our 5-star hotel with a roof-top pool and wrap-around balcony view of the Acropolis and Parthenon.




We read the entire New Testament through in a couple days, reading a few hours in the morning and a couple in the evening. I spent some time updating our team finances and making sure we were all balanced out before we shipped off a nice gift to the church back in Thessaloniki. That was fun!

The train ride was really fun although it took just as long as the non-express route was supposed to take. I had a good nap and an amazing conversation with one of my team leaders, just talking about life and stumbling upon revelations over our time of outreach. It is amazing the things that come to mind when I talk to this lady! We are so similar yet so different, but the similarities sure matter and bring us together!

Church the next morning was incredible! Just like going for coffee with a Greek is a 3 hour process, church was a 4 hour one I recall. The church was so diverse with a Greek pastor and who had an African wife. There were Asains, Africans, Greeks and some of us miscellaneous white folk all in one church. I really felt at home, like I was at church in Sacramento at BOSS. The message was wonderful- I wrote about 4 pages of notes because everything talked about was so such of cool revelation! I love when that happens.

The ladies of the church were a delight. We came to the church one day to help on their day of iCare which was a day of giving away free school supplies, children's clothes and haircuts. What a blessing to provide haircuts! That is such a personal delight to feel cared for enough for a fresh 'do. Some of the youngin's were not so keen on the loud and scary sounds of the electric clippers but then again they were not so keen on the crazy elongated sharp scissors either.

We also went to the church for a sort of work day where half of us re-labeled water bottles with the hotline information for reporting Human and Sex Trafficking in Athens. This is through the organization A21 that I have mentioned before (We interviewed them for a future video project on Thessaloniki and/or Greece). The other half of us emptied out a storage room that has a full wall of windows so we could cover them with paper so the outside world does not see their storeroom. It was sweaty and hot, a given in a Greek summer, but 11 additional women to the women of the church sure made the work a light load. 

Friday evening we met up with members of the church and clad ourselves in lime-green shirts with a Greek phrase on it along the lines of, 'Be her friend..." and the hotline number on the back. We handed out at least 250 water bottles with the hotline information as well as countless info cards that have a second rip-off card on them to share along with bumper stickers and another informational sheet. Let's just say, that a good amount of folks were definitely informed that day. 

Informing the general public about the existence and prevalence of Sex Trafficking, especially in Greece, is so important. I wish I was kicking the pimps in the you know where but that is unrealistic, dangerous and does not put a dent in the cycle. Stop watching porn, do not pay for a prostitute. This will change things. And many do not think it is a real problem or think it doesn't happen in their 'backyard.' America has outrageous rates and Sacramento, California is one of the biggest ports in America for Sex Tourism and Trafficking. (Google has MANY sources for this). 

On a lighter note, we were so safe in Athen I almost wonder why we had so many cautious warnings: do not take a purse out with you, do not stay out later than sunset, do not show your money, there are professional pick-pockets who will slit the bottom of your purse...I know it was God's grace. We stayed in a nice area and had lots of favor wherever we went. I did not see one sketchy scene or once feel uncomfortable. 

Finally, we made it to a GREEK ISLAND! The island of Aegina was gorgeous! It is no Santorini but being a Monday it was superbly quiet and going against the pattern of casual tourists, we asked if there was another beach within walking distance. Alas, a simple 10 minute walk to the other side of a hill opened up to a nearly private ocean front to a rocky-bottom shore line filled with turquoise water! it was immediately met by deep navy blue water and had I had goggles I could guarantee that it was the sea-floor dropping into the Mediterranean. Except for the one gal that treated our find as a nude beach, with her 5-yr-old son, we had the best near-private access to the Aegean Sea!

Checklist Ministry: A Beggar, Dignified

AUGUST 14: TUESDAY EVENING

With a new fire lit inside us after our pastoral visit from our PhotogenX school leader, Jonathan Zerkle, we set out in small groups of 2's and 3's with a hefty checklist of ministry goals. We were told not to come home for dinner and/or to the Network Community Church until we had done everything on the list. As a very goal-oriented person, I was thrilled! Sometimes you just need a little push and something particular to work towards.
So Chelsea and I set out together to get the 'job' done. We prayed for grace and fun. God spoke to Chelsea reminding her that if the opportunity for something important like a prayer of salvation or a more in-depth time of ministry to ace the check-list.
Our first item on the list completed was praying for the city from a "historical" place and then we read all of 1 & 2 Thessalonians and Philippians at a Greek Orthodox church. Then we headed up to the Rotunda to pray at our second historical place. We also met the requirement of simply talking to Thessalonians several times as we asked for directions.
On our way to the 'Needle Point' Tower, a tower 5 stories tall that over looks the entire city from hillside-to-ocean, I saw down the street from Kamara a beggar that I had seen before. So Chelsea and I headed over after nodding in agreement we should of course "minister" to him.

I asked if he spoke English, our default first question to nearly every person we meet. He did not seem to respond a lot but also seemed to understand. I pointed to the cross on his necklace and showed my hands folded in prayer, asking if we could pray for him. He was hesitant at first but with Chelsea's enthusiasm and additional hand signals he agreed to prayer. I reached for his hand to hold and we saw his face light up. You see, when we had begun talking with him he was so slouched over you could not see his face as it was pointed into his lap touching his chest, his hands stretched out to receive. But by time I held his hand he was beginning to perk up. Chelsea saw the emotion in his face stir and warm up.

I then did what I have never felt comfortable or had reason to do before: I grabbed my big camera from my purse, pointed at it, and asked to take his photo. "Click, click" and a thumbs up sign and a "OK?" were the series for permission. I took three photos and showed them to him.  This was the breaking point. He began to smile his toothless smile and sit up even straighter.

Chelsea took a turn taking photos and I continued to smile at him. I could see him returning to a state of dignity perhaps he carried long ago. I remember Susi Childers, our PhotogenX school founder and Photography 1 instructor, telling us similar stories. She pointed out how asking to take the photo of someone who is normally regarded so lowly can give a sense of worth. As people carry their cameras to historical landmarks, important events, concerts, political events, birthday parties and graduations, we photograph and keep as a memory things of value. When a homeless person, who sees a great deal of folks photographing important things, becoming the subject of interest he definitely understood we thought him important, too.
Walking away I really felt kindred to the ministry of Jesus. He would have done just what we did. Perhaps he did not have 5 euro to give back then, but as I held his hand, prayed to our Father for him, I felt the purpose of the Prince of Peace. Full of joy!

Flushable Toilet Paper, Salted Butter and Couches

Well folks, I am "home home" which for college students or any of us that find homes in multiple places, this means our hometown.

Traveling from Greece to Kona, HI was messy, the messiest travel I have ever had! LONG story short we were almost a day early to the airport, when we got to the airport on the proper day our flight was delayed 6 hours due to company striking, we were rebooked through Frankfurt before even leaving Athens, then re-rebooked once in Frankfurt to Washington, DC and then we had a final layover in SF. This turned up wonderful because my dear friend Samantha rushed me when we got to where two other teams were also awaiting the same last leg flight to Kona. So that was the best 9 hours in the middle of the night I have ever spent in an airport for sure. It was so great to see about 15 other friends from school!

I have had amazing conversations with friends back on campus and have done so much processing. I cannot believe how much learning I have done over the last 6 months about myself, my God, and this life. THANK YOU for being part of this journey!

I would like to start writing blogs with topical reflections just so I can further understand myself but I always love to share what I learn with friends!

I have appreciated so much about coming home. I think my favorite part of traveling, of being away, is coming home! It is almost silly the details that I appreciate:

Flushable toilet paper, couches, carpet, MY BED, my room and all it eccentricities, my dogs, a refrigerator I can snack from, my car, my parents of course and my siblings, family in general lets say, the familiar and comforting things. Country music and Christian radio, my full wardrobe instead of the limited-suitcase edition, my shower, having more than one room to roam through/space, valley sunsets, salted butter, Costco, Panda Express, In-N-Out, Horchata and Mexican food. I could list a lot more things. I'll come back later perhaps.

My biggest question in my mind right now is, "Did the last six months really happen?" Because all of a sudden I am back home and it feels like I never left. My family is the same and my friends are the same, except that one moved to South Korea, no big deal. But really, what defines time and change? It is so relative. So I will turn to look at what marks this change in my life.

(These will probably become more topical and expanded in later entries)

DEFENDED: I no longer need to defend myself. Honestly, I am tired of making sure people like me, trying to ensure that things will come into place wether for my own fate or feeling like I need to try to perform the things that God already says will be.

FATHERS LOVE: I really do believe in God's love for me like that of a Father. You know, the kind where he comes into your room the day after you get home and just sighs that heavy, reassured sigh that I am home and safe in bed (even if it is midday). The kind of Father's love that says I love you like the sea loves the shore. The kind of love that really wants you to be happy. Not because Christian's are on Prosak and Jesus makes your life peachy-keen happy, but that despite the things in life that are rough, God really wants the very best for you. Not second best, not an alternative. And why wouldn't I want the best for myself?

KNOWLEDGE: There is a significant thing to recognize for me and all those that enjoy the pursuit of understanding: these things are futile and what is wisdom if you know not the will of God? Just like I am journaling as one that processes things out loud (or on paper...err..my screen) to seek understanding,  Jesus asked me one day if I would instead pursue Him the way I pursue full understanding of my own thought-life.

PERFECTION: I have recognized how much pride is in perfectionism and how God just never asked for such a performance. The Lord asks a lot of us, you might think, but really if your first step forward i truly rooted, and I mean think about getting low here, the base of your intentions-if it is out of love how can you go wrong?


Agh, so much more to be shared!! For now though, this is all. It is late and I need sleep!
XOXO Bee

Leaving Thessaloniki

Today was spent cleaning and packing, all 11 of us. Today we fully realized the farewell that waits for us tomorrow morning as we head to the train station and board ourselves (and all our luggage!!) Athens-bound.

It was pretty relaxing this day of packing. Mostly because I packed nearly everything last night. This was very convenient this morning but not enough to redeem the trade-off! I was back in a bit of over-exertion/exhaustion from the last weeks and could not muster up enough umph to go to Halkidiki, one of the most gorgeous beachfronts in the Balkans found on one of the peninsulas. I do not know what I missed yet, the girls have not posted any pictures or told stories yet but I am sure it was a good time with our friends we have made here through ministry nights at White Tower.

But anyway, back to the photo ;)

It is hard to summarize the last 2 MONTHS of our time spent here. This room in particular is where all of our team-time was spent: worship, crafts, jokes, meals, movie-nights, pedi-cure parties, some breakdowns and cheer-ups, steaming our faces over boiled water in spaghetti pots, you know, the usual. Many a Skype date and skype-call home, and way too many hours spent on Facebook.
This room was our homiest room, its a close call to the kitchen for we all know we love to eat!

Here is where things were planned like Emily's paper-flower ministry, Chelsea's cookies for the homeless, a lot of talk about the logistics for a team media project and a lot of adjustments that lead to it being put on the shelf until God brings it back. Monica's chalking event and Christine's care-packages for the homeless were brain-stormed and organized.

We watched movies here and I uploaded and organized so many picture and video files and wrote these blog entries. It was walked by daily and frequently at that. This room had dance parties and giggle fits. It was a place for community and for love. It was the center to our apartment life. 

Christ Died for Him, Too

One person considers one day to be above another day. Someone else considers every dat to be the same. Each one must be fully convinced in his own mind. (Rom 14:5)
But you, why do you criticize your brother? Or you, why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the judgement seat of God. (Rom 14:10)

For if your brother is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. By what you eat, do not destroy that one for whom Christ died. (Rom 14:15)

Do you have faith? Keep it to yourself before God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. (Rom 14:23)

These scriptures stuck a cord in me today as I took a sort of sabbath to rest; I had been feeling over-exerted and did ministry all day on Sunday. Something that always seems to weigh with much awareness on my mind is how people have such different ideas on what is good, correct, righteous, worthy, compassionate, etc. Living with 10 other people for the last 2+ months and with 7 others the three months before that, and well let's just throw in all the other living situations throughout college I have had—they have all been sprinkled with frustrations about the differences in lifestyles and recently in ideas on holiness and Jesus-like-ness.

I am a very critical person and this usually flirts with judgementalism. It is one thing to assess a situation and I don't think it reaches full on judgment most of the time (though I'm human, and normal, and it happens try as I might to not). But the thing is a critical mind is toxic in a parallel way. I get frustrated because I EXPECT others to want the things I want wether it is to take out the trash and wipe up the counters (thanks, Mom!) or if it is to speak more kindly in certain situations or to be what I consider more humble in other regards. Very vague examples but the idea is that COMPARISON and CRITICISM are just boiling points for in-house mental flurry. What I mean is it does me harm, doesn't change the world for Christ and God definitely does not need me to be a on detail-patrol for other's hearts and their own relationships with God.

Everyone has their own load, their own life and their own relationship with God.

So, as I reflect on these passages this is what I want to soak in:

Christ died for others just as He did for me!! We are equally loved and saved, and how we do house chores or the specifics on how we express the love we know and the love we are just getting to know are petty. In my freedom to act boldly and strongly as is true to my character, this freedom need not EVER harm or bring inferiority to another. What is righteousness if there is no grace?

With all that I am chasing after the freedom that confidence in faith brings that what I am doing is in-line with who I know Jesus to be in my life and to be able to stand on that. Alone. This is faith. (Rom 14:23)

Mount Olympus + Beach

So today was a really fun day, and I'd like to tell you about it. 

Our school leader, Jonathan, is here to visit our team in Greece. Just having come from his pastoral visit to Team Thailand, he is tired but really pumped to see us, obviously. 

We packed up the rental cars and headed Southwest to Olympus, to see Mount Olympus, and to go to the Olympic Beach. All things Olympic during this wondrous Olympic season, so fitting! And, original. 

These are some of the photos from the day! I had a wonderful day photography wise, it was of no effort to find something inspiring and beautiful to photograph. I wish I could have spent all day there. The sunlight penetrated through the canopies for just a bit, long enough to light up the pool below the waterfall the first time by. But sooner than we would like, just as Emily and I (pictured below) had gone off to grab some stray teammates it began to sprinkle. From a sprinkle to a light rain, from a light rain to a decently steady drip, then BOOOOOOM!!!! Thunder so sudden I screamed, I usually don't scream like this, let's be honest; it was out of nowhere. It was raining hard, I still wanted pictures of the turquoise water receiving more H20 and all its gorgeousness. But, MY CAMERA! We had to run the trail back up to the car, it was wet (duh?) and a challenge. Thankfully I had on layers and could use my shirt to wrap around my camera. The shirt was damp all the way through as it rained on me it flowed nicely off my hunched back--thinking this would be a make-shift umbrella of sorts. I was dripping but my camera remained safe. Let's just say we needed full time defrost on in the car ride home. 

A couple realizations I shall try to match up with my photos, you know, to give that deep, profound, tortured-artist vibe. But, lets be honest, God's creation speaks for itself and I hardly needed inspiration to snap the shot and let God do the rest. 

Beauty is simultaneous; it is NOT mutually exclusive. 

Every tear drop, every prayer, lands on the ♥ of God

Standing tall may come with resistance, but never, NEVER stop being who you are. Thanks, Mom. 

When you feel like life lesson's come in the form of a fire hose, build a lake to catch it all. 

'So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
[If] You stand through the pain
You won't drown...
You stand in the rain'
--Superchick, Stand In The Rain

Honor others above yourself. 

Even without much sunshine, it is still good to relax and nap. 

Laughter is so good, even and especially when it wasn't your idea. 

Pirate Ship Ministry

I apologize for this entry as I am well caffeinated and hitting an hour of delirium: it is 3am at publish time.
BUT get excited, because tonight was a fabulous night of ministry!

The momma ducks (our warriors of team leaders) had a meeting with a local professor who had volunteered himself to be our translator at our visit to a new (his) church last week. It was so touching! After he had come to invite us to sit in the vacant choir balcony to translate for us he mentioned, "I know you girls, y'all were at Operation Joshua last week." Okay, he didn't say "y'all." Anyway, because Campbell and Jillian were meeting up with the Prof we were set free to give away as many free frappés as we could and to minister to those we were able. So we did! We gave away nearly 15L worth of coffees! Do you know how much sugar we must have used? Probably a good 500mg. Do you like my metrics?

It was interesting to walk down to White Tower after being gone for so long--the adjustment from being away in Alexandroupolis and the refining of our game plan for the rest of our time in Greece--4 weeks LOADED with media ideas, look out! I found that we were in awe of all the shops and everything in Thessaloniki is 50% off or more, 11 girls and the lure of shopping?! Sinful, I'm sure. But as soon as the coffees were whipped up, literally, whipped! we were passing them out and making people smile. A couple here and there spoke enough English to ask us what we were doing and I did not feel like I was pressing in long enough to make friends with them. I got side-tracked by SWING DANCING on the cobble-stone walkway opposite the bike-path and the ocean by the coolest, most rad accordian + guitar duet street musicians, EVER. Hallelujah, praise Jesus (in all genuiness) for dancing. It was SO FUN. Anyway, I was trying to say we needed to get to the heart of ministry, to legit make friends, learn of their stories and respond in tenderheartedness that God knows and He loves them the same.

THEN. BOOM! A group of (mostly) Albanians walk by and though it was getting past the hours of caffeination, they all accepted. There were two men and a woman that were particularly near our age and with them two aunts and an uncle and a niece. The one woman, Angela, is actually American! Another Hallelujah! She swears she was more blessed to have English speakers around than we were to have an American around...I think I'll let her win this one. She is the only English speaker on her holidays vacation that does not know Albanian, and the 2 men the two know English are busy catching up with family and friends...who only speak Albanian. Anywhom, we all got to talking, got to share about her college dreams and career goals, what the men do in Miami slash Albania and lots of small talk for Angela. Rugout and Christiáno were not as hyped of course, but she was so delighted. I invited them to church with us, not knowing what I do now about their lives. They were eager to go as the rest of the fambam could not converse with us and Rugout was particularly eager to leave.

This is the one we went on...

About 5 minutes later Angela came back and invited us to join them on this epic thing (sans the daylight/sunset, its was 10:30ish pm):

...But this photo is way cooler!

To carry on, this night was so blessed. The not-so-simple fact that Angela came back to invite us to hang out with them was impressive, suggestive and leading. The conversations with her on the boat, shared over lemonade and Fanta while the men had their drinks, were over sex trafficking where we got to share about the A21 Campaign here in Greece (www.thea21campaign.org) and hear her heart on that (Chels and Christine were in that convo). I was chatting with Christiàn about the confusions in our minds that the devil tries to plant when we are seeking God in times of need. Oh, man, do I understand that one! It was so good to be in a young social setting, sitting on a boat, I'm on a Boat!, in GREECE, and listening to American poo-music and just getting to know people for who and where they are. I can legitimately promise that as I meet people and wrap conversations around my God, my Savior, I genuinely do it for the sake of Christ. Motivated by love, increasing still.

After the 30 minute boat ride was finished we all continued to talk. Christiàn and I took photos of the MOON as used it as a light pen and I then showed Angela a bit of what we were doing. Rugout and Chels and Christine polished off our night with talk on the Holy Spirit, American churches that tend to be more concerned with logistics that being led by the Holy Spirit, his relationship with God that has been on pause for so long and his endorsement for what we do and for the discovery of Christ for all.

Please pray for these new friends, I'll update the spelling of their names when we 'friend' each other on Facebook haha. Please pray that over the next day that God stirs in them to come to church with us on Sunday, especially because we'll be at the beach, but for an encounter of God's presence in their lives to stir their long-ago zeal for God. And that we'll get another wonderful excuse to hang out and speak English and HUG hello and good bye, crack sarcastic jokes and share in the secret world of girl-code with Angela.
Also pray for an opportunity to pray with and over them, I believe church building(shore) or not, we can bless their lives by sharing in them through God.

Lots of love and JOY!! What a delight to do what I do for a God who loved me so I can love you.
Isaiah 58:8

Operation Joshua

Operation Joshua 5 || July 17-25 2012 || Alexandroupolis, Greece 

Eleven girls, one guy, in a van and a car headed out to Northeastern Greece for a one week marathon of distributing New Testament Bibles to every household we could find across the major cities of Alexandroupolis, Xanthi, Komotini and the surrounding areas. Operation Joshua, put on by Hellenic Ministries, has gone on for the fifth time as of a couple days ago and what an experience it was! Let's be honest, a year ago I would have scoffed at the idea of taking "religious material" door to door and promoting my God. But we all know a lot has happened since then and my love for God is so great, why the heck wouldn't I run with the good news of the Gospel and a relationship with Jesus?
We were camping for the week long stay, which I guess Greeks do a little differently here. Nonetheless, we were at a beach-camping-park! Yay for devotional time with Jesus by the sea shore! 


The most intimate part of this daily distribution that built up my faith was repetition: Jesus, come into this place, reveal Yourself to this family, Lord give them peace, honor, joy, God break off the chains of disparity, bring blessings to this family, let Your truth be known, I pray the Blood of the Lamb over this doorway…For anywhere between 6-10 hours a day I was proclaiming and promoting the Gospel in silent or murmured prayers over hundreds of people--every day! And in the car between villages, city blocks or elevation changes we read the truth of God in our car or sang worship songs. Lets just say it was GLORIOUS (remember, a new favorite word, it hasn't faded yet!)



Unfortunately I was not with my team of wondrous women that are my teammates for outreach for the Bible distribution part of the day, which was like 87% of the day. There was a lot of switching around and though for the most part people got to stay with the team members they came with from their respective teams from TWENTY TWO NATIONS (probably closer to 30 with the organization's staff) but because they had to get a Greek-speaker in every car there was some fandangling that happened. BUT, HOWEVER, WAIT A MINUTE: it was a joy! I did miss my teammates dearly and there was a lot of memories made without me, but if you know me at all you know I LOVE to meet new people. 


Athina is from Catarini, Lois is from Cyprus which is NOT Greece, but they speak Greek, and Deborah is from Florida. They were wonderfully fun and we all worked really well 
together. I definitely played the peacemaker of sorts between two young-at-heart girls and a motherly-figure with my oh-so-wise-nature. But it was fun to have adult conversations with an American English speaker, this doesn't happen often as our oldest teammate is only a year older, but also really fun to goof off with some young-spirited girls.
We went to several villages over the course of 6 days, 7 for some. 






DAY 1: MegaPisto,Chamiló, and Linos were villages on our list. Another car/team had done Chamilo and Linos but we spent time driving to them and checking. Communicating with pay-as-you-go cell phones to folks from a ll around the world, navigating in unknown territory definitely challenges direct verbal communication; i.e. they didn't and we covered a lot of ground to find we did not have more distributing to do.
DAY 2: Skalomá, Darmeni, Agra
DAY 3: Melia: 39 Bibles, Koila 12 Bibles instead of the listed 4, Itea about 45 Bibles; Thimilia--not sure how many.
DAY 4: Xanthi, a urban/rural border we passed out 174 Bibles and then moved to help in the urban center where we passed out about 450 Bibles. This took forever and the zone was not well covered by enough teams. It was a really fun time at dinner at midnight afterwards with our "buddy car" but it was the longest day!! It was very challenging but we persevered through the most discouraging feelings of exhaustion and redundancy, boredom nearly, but apartment lobby doors were consistently unlocked and doors were open to hang them on door knobs…so we knew that God was still working for us :)
DAY 5: Was a half day to serve as a sabbath of sorts, to rest and restore. My team was half new folks because Lois and Athina headed home, so we got Vangelis and Harrah. We were assigned the section across the street from our camping grounds so not only did we only have about 1.5 hours work but we were about a 3 minute drive from "home." Then we took the trouble to walk to the back end of the camp grounds to go to the beach….sometimes, being a missionary in the Mediterranean is rough, but someone's gotta do it. 
DAY 6: In a 
new car today, Lynn from New Zealand and I had MIA driversso we got paired with a different Vangelis, he's from Boston, and his friend Costas. This was a fun day! We were relaxed and only ended up with 1.02343 villages because a team came to help out--as we were waiting for them to meet us at the gas station they were actually getting started and had finished placing Bibles on door knobs and fence posts by the time we realized they expected us in-situ. We then headed up through Xanthi north west of our area to bring more Bilbes to another team. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL drive! Hills and trees, reminded me a lot of California!DAY 7: Some teams went out to finish up the remainder of the Bibles but the rest of us had a morning session of prayer for each other and the villages/urbanites that received their New Testaments, for the politics of Greek Orthodoxy and the drivers out, things like that.  



Day 8: We ate breakfast, tore down tents, said some goodbyes and exchanged Facebook information and headed back to Philipi on our way home. Oh yea buddy, thats right, we got to visit the ruins of Philipi where the book of Phillipians was written to their local church--we even saw a prison cell where the Apostle Paul was kept at one point or another.

We got seriously lost up in the hills between villages--we had just left the opposite end to the way we came of the last village and were headed on to the next. We were following the last sign we saw and reached a gravel beginning to what became somewhat like off-roading I do with my family. Except we were in a squatty Nissan with really crap horsepower. Anyway it was a really frustrating adventure for our driver who doesn't have a family that goes off-roading and we were in no sight of any other village let alone the one we needed to reach. We came to a fork in the road and prayed to ask which way--we went right against the sense we should head left. Why? Because we're human and think we know better. We marked it in our minds as a landmark to come back to in case we found no avail to the right. We didn't, came back and as I had just prayed for a local villager to be able to help us I looked up and from above on the adjacent hill I saw a cloud of dust trailing a speeding car. PERFECT. We asked for directions and they ended up not being very helpful, directly that is. We decided to just head back to the previous village and from there find the main highway-ish road and go the long way. Yet, somehow as we navigated nearly perfectly back tracking we found ourselves descending into a valley with civilization ahead! And guess which village we stumbled upon?? ITEA, the one we needed!!


At the center of town we met Glory and she was serving frappes to the local chess-playing men--such a Greek thing. She was so lovely and after explaining what we were doing gave us canned Lipton Lemon and then in further conversation insisted we take an ice cream. I hate when that happens. It turned out she has a sister in Florida about 2 hours away from my driver, Deb, and they will hopefully get in touch when she returns to the states. It was so wonderful and her hospitality was almost offensive--I would have never treated someone with that much kindness and welcome them into my home and business the way she did. She prayed blessings over us and we were thus welcome in the village to finish our job and get Bibles out to everyone. The men read their New Testaments in the shade of the opposite building, drinking their frappes. They also let us take lots of photos of them.
Being without my team for the majority of the time was not out of my comfort or character, but I am realizing that it is indeed a job of effort to constantly meet new people, have to stand firm in my ways of positivity and drive my day towards God. New company outside of my bubble of YWAMers and PhotogenXers will be that same effort. But Deb my driver and I shared tears over the compassion and encouragement I gave her. I did not realize that the strength it took to keep positive and reassure her in her frustration at street signs and maps that don't make sense, in the areas of self-doubt as a leader and driver for a team and things of more personal nature was so worth it. It was her first experience out of the country and for myself I was completely okay with the fact that things were not going to be easy or perfect and that I could rely on our translators. She assured me I saved her from quitting and that I kept her encouraged enough to finish the distribution. I cried because it is never easy to carry someone's burdens like that or be that light of joy and positivity if there are not others walking in the same direction. I continue to do it but I was reminded of the purpose and effect just in the time I was beginning to think of just doing what everyone else does. 


Some villages were Muslim Turkish villages--I wish you could have experienced it!! They were normal people, they DID NOT wear turbans, nor did they speak violently or angrily at us. They were decent and kind, they looked like country bumpkins you'd see in any other Greek village and some of them were nicer than most Christians I know from the states. I say this to challenge your idea of Muslim folk and to have to fight that inner-battle for your perceptions of them. I do not say this to get into global politics or say anything about a war or nullify the scale of Islam in the world today. So, lets move on. 




We came across legit shepards of sheep and goats, a man sowing fertilizer with a giant boom-sprinkler in the background; several sunflower fields as sunflower oil is a popular cooking oil; dogs are abundant and accompanied us along the streets of villages; ice cream cones, bars and cups were a plenty; we made many u-turns and had lots of laughs, those crying-kind-of-laughs.








We were blessed in abundant food, we slept in tents with air-matresses and it was so fresh and breezy at night--so fresh I am actually just finishing out a cold, but it was such a delightful rest from the 24/7 sweat-box we have in Thessaloniki. Coming back to the city was fond and I was excited to see our buses and street. We are ever-more-focused and have a media project in mind. GET READY! It probably won't be done until the end of outreach, but get excited!!
I love you all!! I do have some needs and if you're interested in praying about them or lending a hand get in touch with my via email or Facebook :) 


HOW CAN I PRAY FOR YOU??
THANKS FOR READING MY EPICALLY LONG STORY. 

Sorting Out My Differences

I try to treat my blog more like a journal, mostly because I like to think I'm a pretty open book but also because I want y'all to know my real experiences, not just the bullet points.

I go back and forth about how content or confident I am in my INDIVIDUALISM. I have this fiery, world-changer brewing inside of me [I miss beer (brewing, get it?) but to nip in the butt all possible troubles that come with mixing alcohol and ministry, no drinking allowed for this entry program, until we graduate].

The WORLD CHANGER in me wants large scale change, global-level shifts for the better. There is a lot of room for academic digression to explain what that end result is, if its good for all or just my soapbox...but thats another story, for another day.

I got so fired up about this sized ambition and zeal while being in my lecture phase because so many leaders on campus and other organizations were just like me, a student, somewhat resourceless, and they just went for it, leapt for that lofty goal. I guess they just do not walk around with a scarlet letter of their trials.

The back and forth I experience is in relying on the pace of those around me, on their ambitions and zeal and scale. But I learned a huge lesson last night in a family (team) meeting: everyone has a different calling from me, different desires from God and everyone is learning how to go through life through their own lives...What I am getting at is I learned a deeper and broader understanding on what it means to me in the context of others. 


I was getting frustrated in the ministry we are doing, not because it is not good or fruitful or what the Lord has called us to, but because it is challenging the way I think of ministry, for the goals I have for this short time in Greece. God is taking me through the practical and realist processes to growing in His love, developing an understanding of His character and all that goes with that like how to share His love, how to love and disciple others; in general, change. I skipped most of this in my eagerness to reach the end goal of our purposes here in life, the current highlight being "To Make God known"...and I need to continue on the first half of that phrase which is To Know God.

So what was this shift in my frustrations, the topic of family time that blew my mind? This simple plan of action: that each person on our team will be propelled forward in the direction they feel called, and that as teammates and sisters, we will alternate our own time for ministry amongst our ambitions and the others'.

This BLEW MY MIND because for so long I have been searching for a sense of normalcy (similarity) amongst my friends, for validation or just comfort. And friends, I apologize for when, not if, I have projected onto you in any way or amount, my lofty and zealous ambitions. If you liked it, I take the apology back. But really, I am the way I am and if you are nothing like me, WE CAN STILL SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER.  I was frustrated because I was not seeing in my teammates the motivation that I wanted...to see in myself. So I was also shifting a lotta bit of blame. Anyway, I was looking at the wrong prize: my agenda. And, then, BAM, all of a sudden my RIGHTEOUS AND WISE leaders grounded us in a re-strategization. See the paragraph above.

I am so excited for this change in my ability to work with others, understand how the Lord works within the Body of Christ that the Bible talks up and down about, the ability to be at more peace with my teammates (there were no outright conflicts, but you know, I can be more agreeable to them in my heart). WOOOHOOOO Greece, get ready!! You are about to be fronted by the most dynamic team empowered by unity and the Holy Spirit.