My Destiny: God's Will & Plan

I realized today that even after I explain what I will be doing when I return to Kona, Hawaii as staff for the science & technology department for research and development that most people have no idea what I just said...Even when I give the "vague and simple" answer, most of the content is so uncommon its foreign anyhow. 

Here are some blurps from my Skype-instant-messaging-interview. 

Here are the details! Please let me know if you have any questions :) I will not judge you. 

• Amy: Do you have a specific idea of what you want to do in Science and Tech? Farm? Appropriate Technology Village? Cross training? 
• Bwood: appropriate tech is definitely my heart, but i think cross training is always my strategy 
• amy kirbow: Very good. Derek and I have both felt that was where we would like to see you, but also wanted to leave it open. 
• Bwood: perfect :) 
• Amy: I know you mentioned in your application that your heart is for South America. What is your long term vision? If you knew everything there was to know about the ATV do you want to then go there and plant one? 
• Amy: Or do you want to train from Kona and send others out?  
• Bwood: i think i prefer going somewhere and planting to staying in Kona and training others 
• amy kirbow: Are you good with building things and the practical/hands on or more theory?
• Bwood: i think both. 
• Bwood: i love the physical hands on but im very intellectual as well 
• Amy: Very good! 
• Bwood: i did welding and wood working for fun in high school 
• Amy: Ok, so you are our dream! :) 
• Bwood: i think y'all are MY dream :) 
• Bwood: SERIOUSLY!!! 
• Amy: Derek oversees the ATV, but we both have been praying the Lord would send a day to day manager who would oversee the practical and help to implement and further develop the scope of the ATV. The LORD is good is He not? He has matched us up well. 
• Amy: So excited the Lord is answering prayer! :) 
• Bwood: you have no idea!!! me tooo! 

• Derek: Aloha!  
• Bwood: aloha! 
• Derek: So let me give you a bitof a vision of the ATV as it is and how I see it progressing 
• Derek: The ATV is currently housing a few technologies...biosand filters, tippy taps, biogas generation via pigs, permaculture, a plantnursery, and rain catchment 
• Derek: That was the past...here is the future:
• Derek: I see the ATV as a working village...a view of a polynessian experience that shows people what is possible. I want people to walk into the ATV and meet a fictional character. They will follow this man through a typical day. They will see his food growing processes, his fuel, his cooking, his sleeping area...everything. There will be signs and whatnot showing each of the technologies present, but also a smartphone app that will allow you to have an audio self-guided tour in your own language. I want to add in 10-15 new technologies including ecoponics, solar dehydrating, a desalinization device, universal nut-shell grinder, and much much more. I want the permaculture area to have over 200 varieties of food plants as well 
• Derek: Overall I want to see a person walk in to the ATV and be entering a new world. They should forget they are in Kona and really feel they are in Palau or Kiribati...what do you think? 
• Derek: my plate is full...more than you know. I have been praying for you literally and figuratively...a person with the same heart and passion to come and help develop this 
• Bwood: Its amazing how I feel like God has crafted me for this--the challenge, the diversity, the sharing, the technology/media, the remote culture elements... 
• Bwood: if i ever wondered why I was a 'Jack of all trades'....i don't need to wonder any more 
• Derek: I have felt the same way most of my life...neat how the Lord works this... 
• Derek: and of course I want your input, your ideas, your visions. We will be working together, but you would have complete oversight of work duty students and mission builders and leadership track to build and develop the area 
• Bwood: wow! i would be so honored. i have pretty strong leadership skills as far as coordinating and delegating and facilitating so that would be a delight 
• Derek: your DTS leader speaks very highly of you and your capabilities, and I worked with you a bit as well, so there is no worry there...and we are a team in science and tech so you are never alone. I honestly think we have the best team on campus as we pray with one another, hang out, work together, share the load, etc. It really is like a family 
• Bwood: gahh that entirely warms my heart
• Derek: so, I know you have support raising and whatnot, but if you need info for your church or individuals that might be supporting you then let me know and I can get you anything you need...even speak with them on the phone. We are excited for you to come whenever you are ready. 
• Bwood: thank you very much. i am excited because when you give the Lord free reign on timing, things always are spontaneous!
• Bwood: my will is that I will come as soon as I have enough finances--i'm still broke from the last mission so this one is realllllly up to God's provision 

The Waiting Game

What a speedy process this next adventure has been. That is, until now. It was all began in a moment of clarity when several things the Lord had been adding together finally reached its sum: apply NOW.
I had been waiting on God for a sense of timing: when to go, when to apply, when to start fundraising.
I had considered several things like not wanting to leave for Kona and the Science & Technology department before my friend's wedding figuring I'd save money on an extra round-trip ticket and I'd get to be here for more of the pre-wedding festivities. I also figured by leaving mid-June that I would get to stick around for my youth group kiddos and not leave before their semester is up, claiming that I don't want to abandon them after becoming invested in their lives. I also figured I did not want to take advantage of my boss' generosity and flexibility with letting me come and go as I pleased.

Notice a trend? These all sound like excuses, not legitimate factors. If there's a difference, even.

I got an email two weeks ago from my supervisor needing to know my end-date for work this go-around and she had assumed it was March sometime. This gave me a keen sense of permission-permission to leave, her having a specific month in mind, to let go of all those excuses and dare to chase my dream now!

NOW is all I heard each time I prayed to God about timing. I often wonder about the element of deciphering what God speaks to us. It is always a direct answer to the question we're asking? There's a good chance for not. Think of how Jesus NEVER answered questions with direct answers, they were usually answers to other questions or to the actual question no one wanted to actually ask. It seems like this answer "NOW" was more the answer to all of the prep-work for heading back to YWAM. Apply now. Pray and plan and think about who might support you financially now. Don't get committed to other things now. It wasn't so much the answer to when I would fly back or start up at Kona, but when to start doing all the things that need to be done before I leave.

NOW. NOW is the time to begin your dream, dear reader. NOW is the time to take the next step that will lead you to your next step. The sum of all your hard work and the different opportunities that build up the resulting DREAM COME TRUE! Chase your heart's desire NOW, dear reader. Begin the stages NOW.

Now that I have been given this assurance and the ball has been set in motion I am being taught by God so much about what it's actually like to wait. Believe it or not, I don't often wait on things. I usually just do it, just go. After my supervisor's email and the sudden clarity at the center of all my excuses, I started to work on my application. I think it was done within a couple days, reference letters and all. I knew God's hand was setting that pace when my reference letters were done within 48 hours--that never happens! After that was all taken care of I promised God in a slightly challenging way: I said I'd go as soon as he provided the funds. I am broke and I also was wanting to be obedient to the "NOW" that I thought meant arrive in Kona ASAP.

Now though, I am realizing that waiting on God for provision does not mean rush or strive to bring it to fruition. It means, God is working and you might not be able to see it, but now we wait. So I have done my due diligence--support letters, blog revamped, facebook status promotions--and now, I wait for people to be moved by God and respond to my need. So, I am learning that I still have to go to work, I still have to do chores, and I still have things to enjoy while I wait.

Wow, I actually have to trust God with the invisible and allow Him to do the work while not knowing when He will say I am ready. Well, while I am waiting...