Fun in the Sun and God's Grace

This week was a doosey. Several meetings, ministry times and of course getting lots of work done.

There are many many things I could say about the changes in my life that made today so significantly better. I'll mention structure a bit and stressing out when I don't have structure on the weekends. But its more than that. God has been showing me that if I seek Him for help He will help me. I had tried different ways to find some R&R on the weekends and I was doing a miserable job at it. Sounds funny - most people don't have to try so hard to enjoy a weekend. But, if you know me well you know how pragmatic and certain I am about things. Letting go completely doesn't work because then I worry about what needs to get done. And trying to do it all so I can rest afterward doesn't either; the little tasks in life are never done.

I started off my day with a run. I rediscovered, again, how much I enjoy and actually need to exercise. I think today was the first Saturday that I didn't stress about plans, errands and chores or what to do and who to try to meet up with. My weekdays are so full and then I get to my weekend and freak out a bit at the complete lack of structure. But this morning's 35 minute run around the gravel roads up in the junkyard was just what my body needed to stave off stress and

I Am Such A Nerd.

Though you never stop learning, I swore off graduate education once I graduated UC Davis with my Bachelors degree. However, today, I found myself in a classroom. And I LOVED it!!!!!!!!

I'm not a complete sellout as my classroom is a Tongan Fale (pronounced: fall-A) of sorts and has no windows. We have brownies and coffee during class, snack on oranges, limes and liliquoi from the ATV and praise God for all the cool ways the world works. Like water. How is it that Hydrogen, you know, as gaseous element, plus a couple oxygen, you know, another gaseous (and actually toxic to breathe in it pure form) can combine to make water, the single most important thing to LIFE?

Today was the first day of class for a Water Technology seminar taught by a mixture of folks that are involved in different aspects of water sanitation and hygiene organizations. Justice Water and Water For Life are two of the organizations we will hear from as well as some of the students that have been trained prior.

I am such a nerd. I loved all the nerdy talk on elements and their positive and negative charges, how water attracts so much to it because of its molecular structure, and how there are different mechanical and chemical things you can use to clean up water. All of a sudden I wish I was back at Davis my freshman year with the chance to stick with that Chemistry 2A class and stick with my biology major. But then again, I wouldn't be where I am today if I had. Nonetheless, my brain was engaged and my heart was happy to be hearing about all sorts of things.

Meadow Flowers in a Desert

Today was a beautiful day. It wasn't over the top exhilarating, just simply really good. And, its only noon!

Life has been pretty rough lately. I have been acknowledging the legitimate but reasonably-avoidable feelings of homesickness. And being honest enough with myself to face reality. Reality is that not every day is going to feel/be/seem/appear awesome. Reality is that sometimes I will feel or even believe that I am nowhere near impacting peoples lives for the better with the things I do in my little garden world (which is actually giant!). Reality is that people are busy and though they're having fun its not in spite of my loneliness; its just a fact. Reality is that not every day is going to be exciting and adventurous like traveling to Greece with 10 amazing women and facing new, and by default, EXCITING!! things all the time. Life can feel settled and that's okay.

Yesterday was one of the lowest days I have had in years but then it quickly turned around and I felt peace and contentment. It was like I cried and prayed and cried the junk away just enough to make room for God. I saw the joy and goodness in my life and in my relationship with God despite the other 98% of me feeling essentially opposite of that.

I know that the flavor of the next couple months are going to be challenging. God told me so. He said that up til Christmas-time that life was going to be a season of equipping and training, practically and spiritually. I have felt lonely in a lot of what I do here not because there's a shortage of people to be with but because their daily activities are separate from mine.