Given the title, I'm sure that I am only going to touch on one way to do this. But its not so much about my method as it is about the difference it is making in my life. It's HUGE. It's new so I've only seen a difference being made this week in a select part of my life, but I already know it will cause me to walk in a totally different direction: finding my everything in Jesus instead of in my circumstances relative to Jesus.
Does that makes sense? Not yet? Well, thats because I haven't written about it yet! wink wink.
One of my prayers these last 6-7months has been
here. But the impact of what God is teaching me recently is really different, its a big deal.
In the past I have tried to make life's big defining decisions based on rational thought: my brain isn't always rational but man oh man there's plenty of thoughts! I swear, my brain just likes to produce thoughts. Just for fun. Like, let's pump out ideas at 45,489mph and see which ones she can stick to! So I try to weigh the pros and cons of the ones that I can manage to hang on to, weigh it against the future and what kind of direction I might want to be heading in. I try to think of what holidays I might miss or what kind of weather I might be trading in on. I consider how much it will cost and if I have the ability to earn it or faith to trust God for it. Lately I have added in there the requirement that I can rest up for it and of course I try to squeeze in there the necessary does-this-keep-me-on-the-journey-that-God-has-me-on?" question.
And then the catalyst to the change happened. Realizing how big God is. Again. And at another level. In a different way and in a different light. My brain feels so powerful, often in an overwhelming out of control kind of way, when it does that whole idea-explosion I mentioned above. It feels like my thoughts take up all the space around me. And because of that overwhelmingness it feels like my thoughts are everything that exists. But recently God connected some dots for me. I thought of me and my brain from an outside perspective and thought hey, my brain is pretty small in size compared to a lot of things in this world: a basketball, a building, the ocean, and of course God! Can you say humbled? Yes, I can. "Humbled." I mean, my brain can make much better decisions than the ocean could, but what I'm getting at is that my brain is pretty small in comparison to God's ability to make decisions.
God speaks to us all the time. We see in the Bible thousands of times it says "The Lord said" and He speaks to us in our thoughts and prayers through pictures or words or ideas...If God, creator of all the universe who sits in Heaven and can see how everything in the world works and at the same time knows when I stand up and when I sit, then perhaps I could stop racking my brain to pick from my circumstances the perfect fit and start seeking God for my perfect fit.
There's a scripture that has been popping up as I flip through my Bible these past couple weeks. It says
God is the culmination of my desires and my needs. What else is there? Seeking God for the sake of seeking His presence, I found myself not as concerned with the answers I was seeking and in a dear place in His arms. It was sweet and safe and away from everything else bothersome. It might sound crazy but perhaps that's only because you haven't experienced what I'm talking about. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. God is inviting you in to His company, into His presence much like someone invites you into their living room to sit down in a comfy and relaxing place, an intimate and cozy, homey place.
It's a hard thing to change: turning away from the pool of rational thoughts and making decisions based on what God is saying. And more importantly, what He has already said. Obedience to yesterday's vision is more important than a new vision. Opportunity is not destiny. This isn't always fun, it kinda sucks too. If I think on what I love about a new opportunity and then think about not choosing it, I feel like I'm missing out or lacking what that new adventure would add. But the truth is I do not lack, because God isn't taking anything away. I am choosing to continue in what I already have instead of switching gears into something new.
Coming away from all the people and thoughts (mine and theirs) to understand what I should do based on drawing close to God is a significant change in my relationship to God and my understanding of what He's like. It was like making sure that my Lord and all that He could say or ask or bless or give is what is taking up the most space in my mind and personal bubble of awareness in this world/life/moment. Yes, I want to be that close to God's will for my life. And I honestly want nothing of the influence of the world.
**Disclaimer: this does not mean I want to ride solo in all that I do or cut myself off from all of civilization. It just means I am sticking close to the heart of God more than I ever have before.
Does that makes sense? Not yet? Well, thats because I haven't written about it yet! wink wink.
One of my prayers these last 6-7months has been
"Lord let me find myself independent from others and more dependent on You."I crave to find what God has for me and I don't want it to be restricted to the options that are already around me. There are so many people around me doing such awesome things; its SO EASY to feel passion for what they're doing and want to join in! I mean, why not?! But I really want to know what God has for me. I want to say yes to what God is calling me to instead jumping in on what others are doing. I've pretty much been like this all my life - doing my own thing or at least doing life in my own way. So I know y'all aren't exactly surprised by what I'm saying
here. But the impact of what God is teaching me recently is really different, its a big deal.
In the past I have tried to make life's big defining decisions based on rational thought: my brain isn't always rational but man oh man there's plenty of thoughts! I swear, my brain just likes to produce thoughts. Just for fun. Like, let's pump out ideas at 45,489mph and see which ones she can stick to! So I try to weigh the pros and cons of the ones that I can manage to hang on to, weigh it against the future and what kind of direction I might want to be heading in. I try to think of what holidays I might miss or what kind of weather I might be trading in on. I consider how much it will cost and if I have the ability to earn it or faith to trust God for it. Lately I have added in there the requirement that I can rest up for it and of course I try to squeeze in there the necessary does-this-keep-me-on-the-journey-that-God-has-me-on?" question.
And then the catalyst to the change happened. Realizing how big God is. Again. And at another level. In a different way and in a different light. My brain feels so powerful, often in an overwhelming out of control kind of way, when it does that whole idea-explosion I mentioned above. It feels like my thoughts take up all the space around me. And because of that overwhelmingness it feels like my thoughts are everything that exists. But recently God connected some dots for me. I thought of me and my brain from an outside perspective and thought hey, my brain is pretty small in size compared to a lot of things in this world: a basketball, a building, the ocean, and of course God! Can you say humbled? Yes, I can. "Humbled." I mean, my brain can make much better decisions than the ocean could, but what I'm getting at is that my brain is pretty small in comparison to God's ability to make decisions.
God speaks to us all the time. We see in the Bible thousands of times it says "The Lord said" and He speaks to us in our thoughts and prayers through pictures or words or ideas...If God, creator of all the universe who sits in Heaven and can see how everything in the world works and at the same time knows when I stand up and when I sit, then perhaps I could stop racking my brain to pick from my circumstances the perfect fit and start seeking God for my perfect fit.
There's a scripture that has been popping up as I flip through my Bible these past couple weeks. It says
My heart says this about You, “You are to seek My face.” Lord, I will seek Your face." (psalm 27:8)All of a sudden this verse makes a lot more sense, or at least different sense. If that even makes sense. Anyway! I've had such a simple epiphany that is really changing how I make decisions in my relationship with God. Instead of looking to my brain and its spew of thoughts, I am seeking God's face. I mean, I haven't seen it per se, but you know, I am seeking the God I know, the God that has been building me up and speaking to me throughout life and leading me to the things He has for me. Seeking His face is a matter of aiming for the nearness of God and the distance of people's influence. Think of it like this. In Polynesian culture, a popular greeting it to touch your forehead to the other person's forehead and stare into each other's eyes. Intense I know! But if you were this close to someone, I bet you'd feel far away from everyone else as your personal bubble was filled up with them in it.
God is the culmination of my desires and my needs. What else is there? Seeking God for the sake of seeking His presence, I found myself not as concerned with the answers I was seeking and in a dear place in His arms. It was sweet and safe and away from everything else bothersome. It might sound crazy but perhaps that's only because you haven't experienced what I'm talking about. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. God is inviting you in to His company, into His presence much like someone invites you into their living room to sit down in a comfy and relaxing place, an intimate and cozy, homey place.
It's a hard thing to change: turning away from the pool of rational thoughts and making decisions based on what God is saying. And more importantly, what He has already said. Obedience to yesterday's vision is more important than a new vision. Opportunity is not destiny. This isn't always fun, it kinda sucks too. If I think on what I love about a new opportunity and then think about not choosing it, I feel like I'm missing out or lacking what that new adventure would add. But the truth is I do not lack, because God isn't taking anything away. I am choosing to continue in what I already have instead of switching gears into something new.
Coming away from all the people and thoughts (mine and theirs) to understand what I should do based on drawing close to God is a significant change in my relationship to God and my understanding of what He's like. It was like making sure that my Lord and all that He could say or ask or bless or give is what is taking up the most space in my mind and personal bubble of awareness in this world/life/moment. Yes, I want to be that close to God's will for my life. And I honestly want nothing of the influence of the world.
**Disclaimer: this does not mean I want to ride solo in all that I do or cut myself off from all of civilization. It just means I am sticking close to the heart of God more than I ever have before.
"The one thing you absolutely need is the one thing you can never lose: My presence with you."
-Sarah Young, Jesus Calling. Entry October 11, 2013.
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