Voice of Truth

Today was a really relaxing day; as far as busy-ness, inexistent, pressure, illegitimate. Yet it was still a challenge to simply find that motivation to spend time with Jesus. You know, the way I did during the Bible distribution days in Alexandroupolis where I was praying over every person, doorway, gateway and house pet I saw and touched. I have not felt that close to God many times in my life besides spending a day in verbal communication and also reliance on Him.

Today I was sidetracked by Facebook when I promised a 1-day fast and then I was Skyping a friend when I made mental arrangements to grab my Bible for a bit.
All of a sudden it was about 4:15 and I needed to shower still and meet my Papa for dinner at 5pm.

It is honestly annoying to think that after an intense 6-month discipleship program that finding time to spend in the Word, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, seems like discipleship in itself. A demonstration of Grace that I wish I didn't need and supremely unnecessary really. I mean c'mon, the first second you open your Bible up to the Psalms you're falling in love all over again and if you read more than one chapter in the Gospels you feel like Jesus just paid for you salvation all over again. So why is it that watching tv, which I swore away today, and the interest of the online social world is so...effective. Blah!

THE KICKER: Although a blessing beyond expectations, a gift really, a couple young adults at my church that are new friends to me want to evangelize in town. They are on fire for God and I would never want anything different. They certainly seem to be brave and going for it! I feel like they are a gift from Heaven, and they are. I want to spend this season of rest not being lazy but resting in the Lord. This does not mean a vacation from who I was in Hawaii and Greece but a vacation from the very typical over-busy-bee.

So, why was is so heart-stopping to answer "yes" to this question: "Hey do you want to pass out Tracts at homecoming?"

I definitely front about not caring about what people think, especially people that are here in town. Its a small place I have been away from for about 5 years now--weekend visits and intermittent working summers don't really count. All these criticisms snuck in and I began to listen to these voices of intimidation and mitigation. Thoughts that asked me if I wanted to be that person in town, poking at my "image" that would be marked by a Jesus freak label.

This old self of mine took over for a bit and I felt something start to back down. That is, until I brought this micro-fear into the light and confessed to a friend. And she said, 'Yeah, that's out of my comfort zone, too. But God's grace always seems to intensify in those moments.' HOW COULD I FORGET TO CONSIDER THAT GOD'S GRACE IS ON MY SIDE? And where was I putting my trust? In myself, all over again. Praise the Lord this didn't last.

I left my grandparent's house after the Giants kicked the Dogers out of the playoffs, woot!, and heard an old classic song on my care radio, The Voice of Truth (inserted above for your listening pleasures). It's an oldie but goodie.

It made me ask, "Really, whose voice was I listening to?"

THE VOICE OF TRUTH SAYS:

You have discovered my Love for yourself and truly want it for everyone else.
You have found your worth and your identity in Me, the King of Kings.
I am not asking you to paint a rosie picture of Christianity in the WORLD, just love those that will listen.
There are definitely not as many people watching your every move, criticizing it, and painting the town red with who you have become. And if they were, it would say "She loves Jesus and she wants you to find security in Heavenly storehouses." Is that so bad, after all??

Listen to the voice of truth, it comes from God and not from a critical place. Anything critical, throw it out the window. Especially if its coming form your own thought life!
Relax, the Father has it all taken care of. Find your identity, your backing in the Lord of the universe. Problems solved.

Gracefully and always humbled,
B