Jesus Crucified...For Sweatpants

Well, I woke up this morning to come to our prayer room for an hour of Bible reading. It started out solely dedicated for Bible reading this hour of time every morning. I am SOOOO THANKFUL for my friend Madalyn. She and I came together to not just keep each other accountable, but essentially to lovingly obligate each other to coming. Ok, obligate is a strong word, but its how I feel. It's a great thing though. I wake up in the morning and panic because I hit the snooze one too many times and Madalyn, patient and full of grace for me, is just standing outside my door, waiting for me to be ready.

SUB-REVELATION: Should I not be thinking all these same things about God every morning when I get up to spend time talking and praying and such? God is so worth my time and well, He's also the reason I'm showing up--so why not look forward to our rendezvous??

That was from a couple days ago, maybe last week, who knows at this point-I'M LEAVING FOR GREECE IN TWO DAYS (62 HOURS AND 26 MINUTES). Anyway, the epiphany from this morning is this:
Every time we ask for something from Jesus and get disappointed because it doesn't happen the way we think it should, there's a small something inside me that goes something along the lines like this (this could be painful, but its good):

Jesus isn't who He says He is: wondrous miraculous all-powerful God and Man, victorious over death, omni-present, omni-form, omni-everything....you get the idea. 

Jesus might not hear me, He might not love me, He might not want to bless me and surprise me, amaze me with His transcending (from Heaven) works....

So, Brittany. Let me get this straight, you're crucifying Jesus, again, and again and again and again, over a pair of sweatpants? I couldn't find my sweatpants and asked Jesus to help me locate them (you should try this next time you can't find something, He will help you find them, it can work for you too--because Jesus loves you too, loves to amaze and surprise you, wants you to know just how wondrous He is). Well, Jesus reminded me I also have a flashlight so I should use it. So practical this God of ours. I still couldn't find them and then that little thought snuck in my head, "blah, i thought Jesus worked like that..."

So, I say I'm sorry Jesus for metaphorically crucifying you over a pair of sweatpants. Siding with ideas that do not claim confidently who I know you are to me, and to this world.

Thank you for grace, Father.

 

My Psalm-Bible Reading Weekend

On June 8, 2012 at approximately 7:41pm, we began a marathon. A Bible reading marathon.  

A good chunk of students from my PhotogenX school got the lofty goal from God of reading the entire Bible through and we did it, mostly, in a weekend. It was outrageous (my new favorite word!) on so many levels: 

• Sleep Deprivation
• HEAPS of BLESSINGS: starbucks, pizza, water, coke, M&Ms, donuts, apples and oranges, Subway, and cookies and oh my, so much more; we were constantly blessed and provided for.  
• God's truth was read aloud on this earth for 50+ hours STRAIGHT!! 
• WE FELL IN LOVE WITH GOD'S TRUTH AND THE TREASURE OF READING IT. 
• I understand the general story of the world, the history recorded by God. 
• I had so many revelations! Small ones of course with the pace we were reading, turning pages, sleeping, peeing, laughing, acting, pacing, cleaning....

I continually learn that the impossible to me is really just untried adventures. It was so easy to have a group of us taking turns and carrying each other's weight: when one was sleepy the other would read. It was fun! We had company and supporters. The momentum of discovery kept it alive, thank you LORD. 

HERE SHE IS: 

A psalm of revelation and understanding, an ode to God, a small piece of praise

This is renewal of my mind, a step in the process. Oh there is a battle waged in my mind. Two sides compete for my affection, though a fool I would be if I did not note that the victory is won. Though I am human and gauge by my flesh, also measuring this life through flesh -  my mind is like Christ's.  

Oh what depths the treasures are found, the heights they are stacked will supply reward to my ever desire - dreams given from the Heavens are for the joy of the Lord, my strength. How I longed to love your Word, to have victory over the enemy who lied to me and perverted this quest.  

Now that I am here I only see this was a grain of sand on the shores that bind your nations from the raging sea. You are inexhaustible, how I err'd to have set my sights on this simple, small love for your Truth. Is there not leagues of truth beyond the text, beyond the habit? My soul has depended because of your victory this day and Satan has lost yet again.  

For such a time as this You made me wait - because You know the map of the universe and the storyline of the centuries. How could you ever misstep in granting me permission to the next glory at any other time than this?
We have just this capacity today and yesterday has been surpassed, yet tomorrow is forever out of reach. The authority of man, my confidence in what I am able will never approach the King. Because, we are not meant for containing His wonders or keeping up with His grandeur. I will not grow weary or reach my wit's end for I have been given an eternal gift which will mark each day with something to unwrap; He will never tire.  

Say, we will never know how much help we had - the strategy conspired to realize our feat. All I know is He carried me today, yesterday and all of time and before this time. It is not in what is seen ahead of each pass, but in the culmination of the past - I know better, and I know better. 

Love First, Love Real

Inside the world of YWAM, evangelism is a "duh". As we draw ever-closer to Jesus, its indubitable (I look forward to using this word correctly!). 

Jesus, the man himself, was victorious over death, He triumphantly brought to an end evil's power to draw me into the choices and thoughts and attitudes that are anything short of love, peace, redemption, freedom, GLORY (one of my new favorite words, states of being and simultaneous goals). You see, Jesus was and is the perfecter of faith and righteousness and nearly everything the world tells us is worth persuing is everything Jesus came to set away from our affections. 

Where am I going with this? 

I guess so far as to say its pitiful how passionately I feel toward Jesus, and though these feelings are newly learned and newly voiced, that it takes so much learning-by-doing to recognize that I have been brainwashed by boring Christianity to think that it is not worth sharing. So I water it down and get self-conscious about the eternal truth that I know that actually lives and breathes and rescues through and through to this day. 

Today I went on a 'treasure hunt' as the Christianese lingo goes. This is simply to say that I asked God to give me words or images, visions or clues to point me to someone whom is His treasure. The idea is that it is a faith journey, that the person you reach is blown away that the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jesus loves them so much He would seek them out through me/us. 

But in reality, this is what I think may have happened: 

In a rush to get the purpose done I skipped being a normal, friendly, loving and encouraging human being.  I spilled out my name and that God sent me on a treasure hunt and gave us a list of these clues and that Addie, the girl we sorta befriended, met some of the clues: long and reddish hair. She didn't have an olive shirt on and was younger than my imagery God gave to me, but the red hair and young aged matched my co-treasure-hunter's words of "girl" + "red hair."

I panicked. Me, the incessantly talking Britt you all know, love and tolerate (ok, adore, but I didn't want to go that far in my humility of learning today). 

I should have loved her first and loved her for real. For who she is and for what she is worth to my heavenly Father, Abba. Yes giving her the Bible was important, and that was logistically the key to the treasure hunt. But did Jesus walk on this earth for logistics? NO WAY. 

I know its a learning process, but I just wish there were no mistakes so that the opportunities I have to love others and to be genuine and not cliché. No more stiff Christianity. No more stereotypes of Bible-thumpers and door-knockers. Be gone!